I have an idea for a new reality television show. No doubt this will guarantee my success.
I call it â€œRoad Trip,â€ and here is the premise: Six contestants are selected and given a brand new van. (Of course these six will be extremely good looking. No one who looks like a normal human being will even be considered.) The six gorgeous ones will then be flown to Topeka, Kansas and given the simple instructions for the show:
They must travel only in the van.
They must travel together at all times.
They must take turns driving.
They must not communicate about their desired destinations.
Now hereâ€™s the secret-ala-reality-TV twist: Each contestant is privately instructed to drive to a particular destination in the continental United States, and of course reminded that they must not under any circumstances reveal their intended destination to the others.
Here are the six destinations assigned:
1. Miami, Florida
2. Fargo, North Dakota
3. Spokane, Washington
4. Bangor, Maine
5. San Diego, California
6. Richmond, Virginia
Once the beautiful contestants are selected, transported to Topeka, the secret destinations assigned, and the seductive, exciting promos have flooded the airwaves, we will be ready to begin. I see myself in a small role, standing somewhere near the middle of Topeka, with a big cheerleaderâ€™s megaphone. After all the contestants have been introduced to the television audience, the camera zooms in on me as I scream through the megaphone at the top of my lungs, â€œROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!â€ And the van peels out.
Thatâ€™s it. What do you think? You would watch it, wouldnâ€™t you? Come on, tell the truth.
Now just in case that my idea is not picked up by the networks, I will tell you what the real point of â€œRoad Tripâ€ is.
The object of our reality television odyssey is for someone to recognize that the whole thing represents the way a single person feels when he doesnâ€™t acknowledge and accept that his consciousness is multiple, not singular in nature. Without communication between the various aspects of our personalities and especially without doing what it takes to develop a strong â€œDecision Makerâ€ within our consciousness, we are like the contestants on â€œRoad Tripâ€ —- traveling in all different directions without understanding why we never seem to make any progress.
I guess you could say that since we all have so many contestants within us, we really need to do whatever it takes to choose a designated driver.