You cannot create lasting and positive change in your circumstances without changing yourself. No matter how much you know about what needs to change in the people and situations around you, the most powerful way to make things happen is to ask yourself good questions.
Some questions we ask ourselves will only leave us stuck, in that familiar endless cycle — these are questions like â€œWhy canâ€™t I ever do anything right?â€ or â€œWhy am I such an idiot?â€ Think about it: even if we just slightly change that question to â€œWhat can I do today to be less of an idiot?â€ it becomes a more productive, even though it remains self-abusive. Itâ€™s a positive step in the right direction. Two of the best questions to ask in any situation are â€œWhat am I doing here that is not working?â€ and â€œWhat do I need to be doing instead?â€
Practice tuning into your thoughts during times of stress and conflict; listen for the questions you are asking yourself; and change some of the questions to see what will happen.